A Bit Of Rembering TC

Throughout my days on this rock, I have dreamed. My dreams have been grand, vast, massive in scale. When I sat and envisioned my future life, I saw myself in one specific scene. I stood there, in the midst of my downtown apartment, surrounded by friends, after a night of playing in TC. My apartment was me in every way, as was my car and my job.

This dream was a long shot, I thought. One must work hard to obtain such a perfect existence. I chuckled as the scenes ran through my mind. This is an episode of “Friends” or “Seinfeld” I thought, this will never come to pass, people do not actually live like that.

So, my dream intact, but still just a dream, I went on. I laughed, I loved, I cried, I worked. A relationship blossomed and then fell apart. Friends came and went. Jobs came and went. All the while, in the back of my brain danced my dream. On the outskirts of my reality, it beckoned me to join in its little jig. I laughed at myself for allowing such a thing to take hold and trudged on. Yet, it called to me, a bit louder each time. As the months passed and turned into years, its call began to be delightfully unbearable. Soon, instead of laughing at myself, I was blushing and turning away from it, much like a frightened boy at his first dance when the girl of his dreams holds out her hand. No longer did I mock it, banish it, no. Now I reveled in it, wanted it more than I wanted anything. I was as a horse behind the gate, stomping and jumping, yearning for that bell to ring and for the doors to fly open.

Then life took control. One day I had a familiar, if a bit bland, existence. The next, I was full of pain and confusion as that world fell apart. Slowly, the pain and confusion became joy and hope. Suddenly, I was free. I began to reach for the dream that had beckoned for so long. When life laid choices at my feet, I was unabashedly fearless with my decisions. I stood at the precipice of obtaining my dream and I decided to jump.

Before I knew what was happening, I was living in a perfect downtown apartment, every inch of it spoke of me and my personality. I was surrounded by great friends. I quickly began to look forward to our Thursday night flights from work and play to Kilkenny’s for lady’s night and Mike Moran. When most of your friends are girls, lady’s night is the greatest thing since Oberon! We drank tea at “Serenity,” we saw artsy flicks at the State, we discussed random topics deep into the night, we lived. My car was big and comfy, just like I wanted it to be, and not too old to boot! My job was writing and my life was good.

One night, amidst the lamplights of TC’s 2AM, whilst wandering back to my perfect little joint with a rather large crew of people staying the night, it hit me. This is what I had dreamed of. No longer was my dream dancing at the fringes of my imagination, it was taking place right here, right now. I was dancing my dream.

Now, I am off dancing to a bit of a different tune, but still holding onto the vision that my dreams and hopes and wishes have all come true. I will always treasure that year that I spent watching life give me everything that I had always wanted. The future appears just as bright and just as fun. The present continues to be a dream come true.

This whole journey has taught me that I am in control. No matter what life throws my way, be it debt, a boot on my car, a breakup, or a dream come true, I have control. Now, I wonder why I ever let my dreams dance on the outskirts when all I had to do was take their hand, accept their invitation and roll with the punches until I obtained my goal.

It’s a funny thing to dream. People speak of them as wishful thinking, or a way to escape reality. I prefer to live my dreams. Why escape reality when you can love every second of it? I have made real life the escape and dreaming the inconvenience.